nothing guarantees a future of any predominant way of humans relating, whether anarchy or hierarchy.
hierarchies try to sell us the myth of a guaranteed future, through concepts like insurance policies, places in heaven, or perfectly worded laws. but i want to live anarchically for the experience itself, not some vague assurance of a widespread outcome and its continuance. although i think i'd like the world more if i encountered a greater number of people desiring anarchy and living anarchically, my reasons for doing so mostly come from an internal drive.
even though i know i likely won't see anarchy as the primary way of relating in my lifetime, i still embrace living that way because....
i like to play. authority tells me to work, to conform, and then only to play within specified parameters, at certain hours on certain days.
it feels painful to me to take orders, to give orders, to regiment myself to a schedule, to stifle my desire to create each day as my own. i more often prefer the pain and discomfort that comes with attacking the power structures over the pain and resignation i feel by complying with them.
i see the pain in my friends and family trying to conform to jobs, the money system, and relating through social roles rather than as unique individuals, while suppressing their own desires.
i like heading into the unknown. authority tells me to fear it.
i feel happier when i collaborate with people than when trying to fulfill a social role. I witness other people feeling the same way when laws and authority don't play a role in their relationships.
i like figuring out how to get food and shelter and warmth more than I like figuring out how to get money to get those things.
i felt like i lived more of a generic, monotonous existence when i worked at jobs, related as “boss” or “employee”, when everyone I met at work believed (or pretended to believe) these roles mattered more than our own desires.
i feel a deeper sense of connection to people, places, and things.
i like to live creatively, not according to programs prescribed by institutions.
i feel more honest.
i see the devastation of the land resulting from the institutions of government, economics, and the ideology of technological progress.
living with a tendency toward anarchy makes me feel freer, more in balance, and more true to the desires i felt as a young child and continue to feel today.
at the end of the day, i see it as a choice between perpetuating a way of relating, thinking, and acting that causes me (and others) unnecessary pain and suffering, versus ways that open up possibilities in each moment, as i encounter people, land, and other creatures in my life.
a quick story to illustrate....
recently, my wife and i spent a few days with our 8 year old niece while her father worked out of town. unfortunately for her (she has told me this), most of her life consists of following the rules and laws of school - getting ready for it at 6:30am, spending 6 plus hours in a box there all day with other people deciding for her what she will learn, how she will learn it, and exactly how much time she'll spend on each "subject", then home for at least another hour or two of homework, and then getting ready to do it all over again the next day - all of this cycle reinforced by authority: her father and mother, her grandparents, teachers, aunts and uncles, even her older brother as he asks if she did all her homework before she starts playing around.
on the day leading up to our stay, she said to me "i want to see what i can turn myself into this week!". i witnessed her desire to live creatively, and i wanted to help her however i could, rather than act as an authority figure in her life.
so while we stayed with her, we didn't attempt to force her to go to school. we simply woke up whenever we wanted to and let our desires for the day take us where we wanted to go. ultimately, the three of us all knew we'd face the hierarchical thinking and power structures of relating when her parents and grandparents found out that we disregarded their rules (as well as the laws of the state), but we agreed to face it and take our chances, figuring out ways to deal with it that worked for all three of us.
the sense of freedom and creativity that we shared during those days felt worth the risk, despite knowing that people we care about would likely be pissed off at us, and that nothing would change in terms of the school system and probably not even our family members' belief in hierarchy and authority. as it turned out, we did face a few angry family members...but they also acknowledged the spark in this little girl's eyes and voice when they saw her that they didn't see before. a fleeting moment perhaps, a small dent in the ideology of authority, but a satisfying experience having lived and related that way.
i don't feel the same amount of tenacity and courage every day that i wake up. but the desire to relate to others as unique individuals, to create my life in my own way, to not sit around and wait for some future perfect society as imagined by people who don't give a shit about me, to not let authority figures control me, my thoughts, and actions...drives me to live and relate differently, anarchically.
edited: mostly grammar/typos, and a few things i didn't like.