How would you describe these types of anarchism in three sentences each?

Question

A friend asked me to define anarcho-primitivism and nihilism in just three sentences, and I thought that was a good exercise in coming up with a concise description without getting mired in all the details. It seems like a good question for a 101 site, and I don't recall seeing it ever on here.
So - in three sentences how would you describe:

• Anarcho-syndicalism
• Anarcho-communism
• Mutualism
• Anarcho-primitivism
• Nihilism
• Egoism
• Illegalism
• Insurrectionary anarchism

I know this is not an exhaustive list of tendencies, so if there are others people want to add, maybe do so in the comments?

Comments

http://anarchy101.org/115/what-are-the-main-threads-of-anarchist-thinking?show=115#q115

this link doesn't mean people shouldn't take on this exercise. i can imagine it being fun/educational.

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Thinking about this has me wanting to compose haiku for each:

Egoism:
The self is central
A union of sovereign selves
All else is spooks

I hate poetry, but I've always appreciated haiku's ability to cut through the bullshit.

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i like it, ingrate!

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still waiting on more of these haiku, ingrate! your public is impatient!

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three teasers:

Workers have power
Waiting for the general strike
Still a dream deferred

Whose streets? Not our streets.
Kids with badges own this game.
Still the windows drop

No viable path
Reject the things and some stuff
We will publish books