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+2 votes
I can't remember the punchline to this joke. I know it can vary with green anarchists, insurrectionists, anarcho syndicalists,etc. Additionally, i feel that our collective strength is In our humor when it comes to relating to others in the struggle for liberation.
by (350 points)

5 Answers

+10 votes
How many anarchists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

@-Insurrectionist: Smash the lightbulb with a hammer, shadows bring social war!
@-Communist: Smash the lightbulb with a hammer (and a sickle); everyone gets a shard. Except maybe everyone has to keep the light on.
@-Primitivist: Abolish lightbulbs, AND numbers! Campfires for the win.
@-Mutualist: However many an artisan workshop can send to a timebank.
@-Individualist: Don't tell me what I can and can't screw!
@-Collectivist: Something something *lightbulb vouchers* something something *democratically determined salaries*.
@-Syndicalist: A horizontal federation of trade unions' worth.
@-Capitalist: Worker screws lightbulb, owner screws worker. Also, pay me every time you see my light through the window, ya mooch.
@-Egoist: Just me.
@-Platformist: Whatever the most obsolete method is. Zing!
@-Feminist: No women were exploited in the screwing of this lightbulb.
@-Queer: I'd rather fuck a lightbulb than a cissexist homophobe.
@-Nihilist: Who needs lightbulbs when the whole world is burning?
@-Liberal: I want to "change" the lightbulb, because "screw" sounds a little too aggressive.
@-Hipster: "The light bulb was better before it changed." -Mypal Brokunin
@-Christian: These aren't the Light you're looking for.
@-Buddhist: The more the man screws the light, the more the light screws the man.<- deliberately ambiguous
by (8.9k points)
Individualist: Don't tell me what I can and can't screw!
+7 votes
Two. One to screw it in and one to write the communique.
by (560 points)
+2 votes
One, if light bulb has agreed to be changed.
by (320 points)
edited by
+1 vote
Four, one to facilitate the meeting to discuss changing the light bulb and three more to make sure there is quorum.
by (140 points)
You forgot one to keep stack, and one more to initiate the vote on whether or not to vote on changing the lightbulb.
+1 vote
My personal favorite is the Crimethinc version:

"There were only two of us, wandering listlessly in the night. The city glowed bright in all of its excess. When we stepped foot in that abandoned warehouse, the first thing we saw was the burned out lightbulbs, hanging from the mold-spattered ceiling. It only took us a couple minutes to switch out that vacuum-filled shell. We hadn’t only made a change in the warehouse, but in our hearts. We climbed up to the roof to watch the stars, cars zipping by like ants, oblivious to the beauty that rests above them. When we woke up to the sun-rise we knew, we just fucking knew, we could could change a hell of a lot more than just lightbulbs."
by (1.4k points)