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+2 votes
Security culture is an important part of being in a radical subculture, and if our children are to be accepted members they need to understand these principles as well. However, as a parent I worry that if my kid doesn't think it is okay/safe to tell me things that a) that would put a barrier between us or b) cause a situation in which they don't feel safe coming to me with something that may be affecting them (a parent ought to be a safe place for a child to come to with anything and everything).

So, how have other anarchist parents/caregivers out there handled this dilemma?
by
this is a great question, imo.

although i don't tend to like the whole "security culture" concept. as compared to a "culture" of informed, critical thinking and common sense.
i actually really don't like this direction of thinking. to me putting children and security culture in the same thought is mixing apples and oranges (pre genetic splicing ;) ).

children are already taught not to tattle tale. and we should all be learning more about context, and when some behavior is appropriate/inappropriate.

but maybe the real response i have to this question is that it puts the onus of determining what information to share (and with whom and when) on the least appropriate (or capable, perhaps) people to make those decisions.
i agree with your last sentence, dot. and for sure with your point about context.  

when you say: "children are already taught not to tattle tale", are you referring specifically (and only) to anarchist - or other radical - parents? because my experience with the majority of parent/child relationships (meaning, not radical etc) points to the opposite. many, many times have i heard things like: "if you see bobby doing X, make sure to tell me". or "you should tell your teacher when mary does that". it sucks.

there is also the fact that so many view the parent/child relationship as sacred, impervious to context. i wonder how those parents feel, for example, when their child turns them in for smoking pot. i know there are cases of that happening where the child didn't intend for their parent to get busted, but i think that just points to the need for informed, critical thinking, and common sense. for both parents AND their children.
ah. i thought all children were taught/taught each other that tattle telling was bad.
i am out of touch.
:(
things like these are sometimes why i think i never want to have kids....
Well, _someone_ has to explain things to them.  
If not their parents or the state, then someone else - after they've run away from home (or the foster home they were stuck in after they ratted their mom out to the drug pigs.)

I read something awhile back about how kids that 'aged out' of the foster system were much more likely to be unemployed, undereducated, homeless, etc.  Pity anarchists don't actively recruit ... they sound like my kinda people.

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